Using Stones for Personal Growth
by John and Micki Baumann
Peridot strengthens Responsibility
Rose Quartz strengthens Intimacy
Citrine strengthens Acceptance
Jade strengthens Decisiveness
Moss Agate strengthens Patience
Black Tourmaline strengthens Kindness
Turquoise strengthens Trust
Working with the Stones
Everyone has the mental and emotional equipment necessary to develop all the human qualities to a high degree, although each person does this at his own pace. The stones listed here can be used as a tool to help you speed up this pace and grow more rapidly.
The sections that follow describe 32 specific human qualities along with the stones that can help strengthen those qualities and promote personal growth in that area. For some of the human qualities, two stones are listed that have the same effect. This is done because some stones can be quite expensive, especially if they are of gem quality (emerald for example), so an inexpensive alternative is given (in this case picture jasper). Also, when shopping for stones, there is no real advantage in buying an expensive gem quality stone, since a lesser quality stone with some impurities has essentially the same energy, and it doesn't matter whether it is rough, tumbled, polished or in crystalline form.
Whenever you make improvements in the human qualities, personal growth is the result. That is, you become more in the spiritual sense of who you are. You can grow more quickly by making a purposeful commitment to attitude change, since this allows the improvements to happen more readily and smoothly. If you are willing to commit to making more rapid changes in this way, there are suggestions and exercises included in the section on each quality to help you make positive changes in that quality. Practicing these suggestions and exercises can be a powerful aid to help change specific attitudes and promote growth.
Carrying the Stones. When you are working on a particular quality, carry the corresponding stone in your pocket or purse, or leave it close to where you spend some time every day, perhaps on your desk or next to your bed, so that the stone can have a chance to interact with your energies to strengthen them.
Working with Individual Qualities. When you first start working with a particular quality, it helps to read the article dealing with that quality each day for several days, while holding the corresponding stone in your hand. This will help you understand the quality and really bring it into focus for you, and make you more aware of your goals in that area. Doing this acts as a form of manifestation to help you make changes and build up that quality.
Handling Change. Making an attitude change usually requires a leap of faith on your part, especially if you are not used to this type of thing. Any attitude change is a step into the unknown, and it can be scary to enter such unfamiliar territory. It can be disturbing to face the possibility of changing how you operate, especially when you have no idea what lies on the other side of the change. This is why the first attitude change is always the most difficult. However, after making several of these changes, and seeing that the results are always positive and very freeing, you eventually realize you don't need to be afraid of changing attitudes.
When you have worked on a quality for a while, and you suddenly look back on a particular experience and think to yourself "Now I know why I had to go through that", then you know you have taken a real growth step.
Emotions as Feedback
When you start to grow and make changes in your life, there is a wonderful mechanism that tells you how well you are doing at it. This mechanism is your emotions. Emotional feelings give you feedback to let you know how things are going, not only in your everyday life, but also with your growth. These feelings help you know when you are doing things right and when you are not. You just have to tune in to them and learn to know what they mean.
Your emotions continually indicate who you are, and they show you what is good for you and what is not. Whenever you feel any form of emotion, it tells you something about how your energies are operating. This is true whether it is a positive emotion such as caring, comfort or joy, or a negative emotion such as fear or anger.
Since each energy is closely connected to an emotion, it triggers that emotion when necessary in order to let you know how you are doing in that energy. If something feels good emotionally, it has a really good chance of being right, especially if it continues to feel good over a period of time. "If it feels good, it is good".
Sometimes emotions can be almost overpowering in telling you how you are doing. This is particularly true of the negative emotions that include the different varieties of fear and anger. When these emotions indicate that certain aspects of your life are not going smoothly, then you know change is needed. The negative things you feel most strongly emotionally, are also the things you will feel most compelled to deal with. These are the things to concentrate on first when you want to grow.
Each negative emotion has a connection to specific combinations of energies, and whenever you feel a particular emotion, you subconsciously know it is one of those energies that is giving you problems. So when you are considering what attitudes you most need to change, the negative emotions are a strong clue. Emotions such as feeling intimidated, lonely, restricted, helpless, obligated, defensive, gloomy, pessimistic, regretful, remorseful, discouraged, disappointed, jealous, aggressive, frustrated, bitter, disapproving, resentful and revengeful are prime candidates for attitude change.
Similarly, the positive emotions indicate the different aspects of your life that are going well. These function as a kind of reward for being able to make your life work well. If something feels good emotionally, it probably is good.
Your Energies or Human Qualities essentially define who you are as a person. They define your level of personal evolvement in each of a number of different areas, and that, in turn, determines how you operate your life in each area.
For example, a person who is suspicious of everyone he meets, even without a particular reason to be suspicious, has not developed the Human Quality of Trust. Because he is suspicious of everyone, he is blind to people around him who are trustworthy. He has never allowed himself to learn that some people can be trusted. Because he doesn't know that anyone can be trusted, he trusts no one.
In a person such as this, the quality of trust is unevolved. The only way he can change that is to change his attitude toward trust by realizing that some people are indeed trustworthy. Once he allows this possibility to exist, he starts to look for signs that tell him who he can trust, and over time, this teaches him what trust is and how to recognize it. When he eventually gains some confidence in his ability to recognize who is trustworthy, he then starts to be able to trust at least a few people.
By going through this process, he has changed his attitude toward trust in general, and has learned to trust some people that he can see as trustworthy. If he continues this process repeatedly over a long time, he eventually becomes extremely good at knowing who he can trust, and in time this greatly increases his ability to trust those people he knows are trustworthy. This is how someone can develop the Trust Energy.
Whenever a person changes an attitude by adopting a more positive outlook, the attitude change causes him to improve one of his human qualities, in this case trust. This example is typical of how someone can grow as a person by changing attitudes. The attitude change causes him to become more positive in a particular area of his life, and this strengthens one or more of the human qualities.
Although all people share the same basic human qualities or traits that go into making up a person, each person operates those qualities in vastly different ways. The way someone operates and expresses his life through these qualities is a direct result of his attitudes, viewpoint, or outlook.
This is why a person's attitudes determine his maximum ability to use each of the Human Qualities. In other words, if you never flex your kindness muscles by being kind to people, you will not grow in that quality and become a kinder person. But if you practice kindness whenever you feel it is appropriate, your capacity for kindness will grow over a period of time, and you will end up being a kinder person as a result. Changing attitudes toward something or someone in the various areas of the Human Qualities is what personal growth is all about.
Each stone listed here is associated with a particular Human Quality or characteristic. Kindness, intimacy and patience are examples of these qualities. Everyone has a capacity for all the human qualities in the list, but each person develops them at his own pace. This is why these qualities are more evolved in some people than in others. For example, everyone has the basic characteristic inherent in kindness, but some people have developed the capacity to use it to a much greater degree than others.
What are Energies? Each of these human qualities or characteristics is sometimes called an energy, since it acts as a form of energy that you can command and use. Energies can be referred to by using the name of their associated quality, as in "the kindness energy" or "the intimacy energy" or "the patience energy". An energy is something you can turn on and off and project out from yourself to others, and when you do that, it has an effect on the person it is directed toward. The human qualities are also called energies because they are dynamic, since how much you use them changes from day to day and from minute to minute. At any particular time, you can choose to put out as much as you want of any of them, up to your maximum ability in each one.
Just because you can decide how strongly to use an energy at any time, it does not mean you use it at its maximum all the time. How strongly you use it is determined by what you know and feel about a person or situation. For example, even though you may have a very strong ability to trust, you don't use it all the time, but only when you know it is appropriate. In other words, you don't trust everyone blindly, and you don't trust someone you know is not trustworthy. You may look at one person one minute and know you trust him, and project your trust energy out to him as strongly as you can. But in the next minute, you may turn to someone else and know that you can not trust him, and then you hold back your trust energy from being sent out to that person.
Growth Determines Maximum Ability in each Energy. The human qualities are ways of operating that help determine who you are as a person, your personality. How much you have learned or grown in a particular quality or energy determines how you operate in that area of your life. It determines your maximum capacity for using that particular energy. This means you have the ability to use any of the energies to the extent that you have developed them, up to the level you have grown in each one.
For example, how much you have grown in the patience energy, that is, the level you have achieved in this energy, determines your maximum capacity for allowing things to move at their own pace. This capacity for patience is a result of your accumulated past experience with giving things time to happen, and what that experience has taught you about patience. If you have a developed patience energy, you know enough to let go of trying to put your energy in opposition to the natural flow, and this helps you stay calm during those times when others might become impatient and lose their cool.
What Stones Can Do for You
People's fascination with stones is not just because of their beauty. It is because of the vibrations that the stones give off, and how those vibrations interact with who you are inside. For example, the vibrations that come from the crystal structure of turquoise interact with your personal energy in a way that strengthens the ability to trust.
To what extent can these stones help you make positive changes within yourself? They can be a powerful help, but keep in mind that stones are not magic, even though they sometimes seem to be rather magical. The real function of the stones is to give you an edge in creating personal change and growth. They do this by strengthening particular characteristics inside you.
The vibrations of the stones resonate with particular energies or human qualities inside you and strengthen them. This gives you an internal boost that makes it easier to see things in a more positive light. It provides the extra insight and determination necessary to take the leap of faith required to make positive changes in your life. It also furnishes the strength to not be afraid of internal change. But in spite of all this, you are still the one that must create any real learning and growth for yourself by adopting a new or different attitude toward the particular thing you want to change in your life.
By themselves, the stones do not make you a better person or a different person from what you are. But they do resonate with particular human qualities inside you to make them stronger and more intense, and this makes it more obvious to you what is going on inside. This makes it easier for you to see who you are and what you want to change about yourself in order to become a better and stronger person. But keep in mind that internal change doesn't happen unless you want it to, and that you are the one responsible for any growth you do. A stone can only amplify an aspect of who you already are. To grow as a person you must do most of the work yourself.
Why is it that stones have such a strong influence on people? Why do people choose to keep certain stones close to their body by wearing them around their neck, or in rings, earrings, bracelets or belt buckles? It is because stones provide a link between the physical world and the spiritual world through the vibrations of the mineral itself.
You may have noticed feeling attracted to a particular stone, perhaps one that you wear as jewelry. Sometimes the attraction can feel almost as if an interaction is taking place between you and the stone. This happens not just because the stone is beautiful. It happens because something in the stone resonates or strikes a chord within you in a way that can sometimes seem almost magical. The reason for this type of attraction goes beyond surface appearance. It occurs because the stone has the ability to impact you in a positive way.
Stones have the very special ability to positively influence who you are inside. Because of this, they can be used to help you become a stronger and better person. They can help you change something about yourself, something that needs to be changed to make your life better. People are often drawn in subtle ways to stones that can have a this kind of positive impact on them.
The Magic of Stones
Stones are a gift from the earth. They exist everywhere in nature, adding their color and beauty to the natural environment. Even in a stark desert landscape sparsely populated with vegetation, rocks and stones inject a captivating splash of color that adds to the scenic beauty.
Stones have a special appeal that can be very alluring. They seem to attract people in a way that says "Take me with you". Who can't remember looking down at some time and seeing a stone, and then reaching down to pick it up.
People have always been fascinated by stones. In all likelihood, stones were the first objects thought to be powerful beyond their surface appearance. Down through the ages many varieties of stones have been given special value, partly for their beauty and partly because stones have often meant something to people for religious reasons, for metaphysical reasons, and as good luck charms.