Using Stones for Personal Growth

by John and Micki Baumann

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Smoky Quartz:  Honesty

Smoky Quartz is a transparent variety of quartz that gets its name from its smoky gray to clove-brown color.  This color is the result of natural radiation in the region where the crystals grow.  Clear quartz can also be irradiated after mining to change it into smoky quartz, and much of the smoky quartz available in stores is irradiated clear quartz.  Smoky quartz is found in Brazil, Switzerland, Colorado, and New Hampshire.  In Scotland, smoky quartz was a sacred stone from the time of the Druids.  The royal Scottish scepter was tipped with a sphere of smoky quartz.

Smoky Quartz acts on the Inner Being to strengthen Honesty.  Honesty is being frank, forthright and accurate in presenting reality as you see it.  It is being straight forward in revealing what you know or believe.  It is being candid in giving out information that is accurate and complete.  Honesty is feeling that you have nothing to hide, and that you can say what is in your heart.  It is being comfortable in revealing what you know by being upfront and "telling it like it is".  It is being able to say how much you know and how much you don't know, and includes always being able to say "I don't know", when that is the case.  You never try to bluff your way through something.

Honesty is subjective in that whenever you tell the truth, you are actually telling the truth about your perception of reality.  This means honesty is not necessarily dealing with absolute truth, but simply with truth as you see it, and different people see things in different ways.  For example, if you believe racism is wrong, and you are with a group of people who are mostly racists, and you go along with their derogatory talk because you are afraid to say how you feel about racism, then you are not being honest.  You are not being honest about what you believe because you are not conveying your reality, your truth as you see it.

Honesty has both a doing side and a knowing side.  The doing side is being forthright in saying what you believe.  The knowing side is recognizing honesty, both in yourself and in others.  It is knowing when someone is being honest with you.  It is also knowing when you are being honest with yourself, so that you don't delude yourself by refusing to see your own truth.  These two aspects of honesty form two sides of the same duality.  This means that as you develop the ability to recognize when people are being honest, you also increase the ability to be honest yourself.

As an honest person you are good at being straightforward with yourself as well as with others.  You know that being honest with yourself means you don't put aside your personal truth just to accommodate what you want.  For example, you have a friend who is an independent woman and has not had a man in her life for some time.  She likes her independence and feels that a woman should have her own life apart from any man she may be involved with.  But when a man suddenly comes into her life, she is at once willing to drop everything else at a moment's notice, in order to accommodate him.  She does the same thing she has criticized her friends for doing when men have come into their lives.  She is not following what she believes, and that is not being honest with herself.  And when the affair is over, she will say "Why did I do that?  I knew better."  She is in effect saying "I was not acting honestly".

Improving Honesty

To increase your level of honesty, practice being as honest with people as they will allow.  This means you never purposely mislead people, but you sometimes refrain from telling them things you know they don't want to hear, perhaps because they will find them unacceptable, upsetting, unbelievable, or hurtful.  Remember that honesty does not mean being frank when someone really doesn't want to hear what you have to say.

Learn to recognize when someone is being frank with you and is telling the truth.  Use your experience and accumulated knowledge to determine what is credible and believable to you.  Don't automatically accept everything you are told without first evaluating whether to believe it, especially when a person may have ulterior motives in telling you something.  If you can determine what makes sense and is credible to you, then you have a powerful tool for knowing when someone is being honest with you.

In practicing honesty, be aware of what information someone can handle emotionally, and what upsets him and puts him off balance.  Learn to evaluate his receptiveness to any information you may have to give, and be tactful and inoffensive when you give it.  It is important to be cautiously gentle in presenting information to people, so you don't create havoc in their life, especially if the information could be construed as bad news.  Operating in this manner will help you understand how much reality someone is ready to acknowledge, and how honest you can be without being inadvertently hurtful.